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- 8 days
can’t even have a woman sit on your face in the UK. It’s a shame.
- dgdft@lemmy.worldEnglish8 days
That’s okay, you’re not supposed to stand
(unless the woman is very very tall)
- 8 days
Well i left in 2018, and it didn’t hit international news that it got unbanned
- 8 days
Meh, it shouldn’t be normalised, it’s degrading and copy cats will absolutely do it in non consensual ways. This is well into the realm of BDSM, and needs clearly established consent, not some move that people will pull out at random because they saw it in a screen
- 8 days
If you ask medical professionals , nearly any amount of choking is pretty unsafe/not worth the risk.
Obviously putting your hands there and pretending isn’t a problem, bit anything harder carries substantial risk.
- 8 days
No choking of any kind is safe. It’s all edge play.
There’s a huge difference between a firm hold and chokehold. Giving someone a firm grasp is a safer way of doing that if you’re gonna do that at all. It’s not as dark romance book boyfriend hot, but it has the added benefit of not leading to accidents.
There’s a huge difference between a firm hold and chokehold.
So much this! I think it’s under-communicated that you have this whole spectrum from “placing hand lightly on neck” to “actual strangulation”, and there’s a whole lot of fun to be had without getting close to the dangerous side of that spectrum at all.
- 8 days
Yeah, the cuties ask me for the lack of oxygen high. I’ll keep ya words in mind
The problem is that the average sub has a deathwish and they cum harder in proportion to how close they get to it.
And then you have to be the party pooper and go “no sweetie I will not be tying a noose around your neck”
8 daysAnyone who wants to get into anything even remotely BDSM-y should have mandatory reading of Sunstone first.
There’s a character there who lost her hands because she wanted to impress her dom boyfriend and tied herself to the bed with self-tightening knots. The boyfriend - not aware of the fact - was home late. By that time she lost strength in her arms, the knots tightened and cut off blood-flow and her hands had to be amputated.
This shit is sexy and hot, but dangerous if performed by unaware/inexperienced people.
- 8 days
The British soap opera “Coronation Street” is doing a related story on this currently. Two kids, 18ish, having sex for the first time and he chokes her and she ends up having a stroke because of it. This is not a natural act but something that is heavily intertwined in the internet porn world and we learn by observation a lot of the times.
You’re supposed to be stroking during sex that’s how people cum.
- 8 days
I think its come from the fact that teachers are being approached by teenagers and being asked how they should choke someone during sex, because they think its a normal thing everyone does. Not something some consenting people do.
Also there have been several high profile cases of woman being strangled to death and the men getting off with light sentences because they say it was a consensual sex game.
- Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.caEnglish8 days
I hear of more and more young women who are foregoing relationships and one big reason is the pornification of sex. It seems that no one born into the always online porn generation has real old fashioned sex anymore. It’s all porn mimicry. And not surprisingly, the majority of women don’t enjoy it since most porn isn’t about women’s enjoyment but their degradation and pain.
- 8 days
Many moons ago there were intelligent people advocating for a serious upgrade to the sex ed programs. The usual idiots shut it down of course, but the idea was that, among other things, we need to teach sex ed in an age of online porn. Accept that kids who want sex will get sex, and that kids who want porn will find porn. Start teaching them that porn is as much fake, pandering entertainment as the WWE. Scripted, planned, consent and paperwork ahead of time, body makeup, dick makeup, permanent makeup under the runny makeup, they don’t show the prep, they don’t always show the lube. The orgasms are mostly fake (even the guys). Most women don’t like to be slapped or choked, especially without asking permission. In fact most women don’t want anything done to them that you don’t want want done to you.
My advice for young people, and really everyone, is that you someone can’t talk about sex and go buy condoms, they aren’t ready for sex. Communication about it before, during, and after makes for the best experience. Also, you can like things in porn that you wouldn’t do in real life.
- SabinStargem@lemmy.todayEnglish7 days
Normally, I am fine with people having kinks. However, choking is straight up bad, on account of actually damaging a key part of the body. Backdoor action involving toys is good fun when they are appropriate for the job - but there is no such thing for the neck.
Please, just don’t. Spank your partner with a crop, give em’ titty twists, do waxplay, pretend at rape if they have a safeword - but just don’t risk their wellbeing. Their lives are literally in your hands if you go for the throat. 🫤
I think it depends on how close to full choking you get. Gentle to moderate, broadly dispersed “chokingesque” pressure is fine as it doesn’t significantly interrupt blood flow. Using enough force or concentrating force to occlude the carotid arteries is asking for trouble.
Not only is there the risk of ischemic brain damage, the carotid sinus, located where pressure is often placed, is prone to arterial plaque formation due to increased turbulence. Disrupting those plaques can break them loose, causing a stroke. That’s how a mate of mine lost much of the use of his right arm, though I suspect he wasn’t getting choked out. Never asked though.
I use to be against this kind of banning thing, but then algatherms. The most shocking stuff gets pushed due to the attention it naturally creates thous normalizing it to people who would not take the care needed for this kind of thing, and as people have said here might not even be safe when done correctly but when you see it getting pushed to teenagers…
Sexual choking causes brain damage, mainly resulting in emotional dysregulation. Yall ever wondered why every girl who ever asked you to choke her turned out to be fucking psycho?
- 8 days
Call me old fashioned, but violence in the bedroom should be simulated, not actual. Can a girl consent to being punched? How about stabbed (with a knife) or shot (with a gun)?
Sexual liberation is about enjoying your body, not permission to become a goddamn Cenobite. Some kinks should be shamed.
Some girls will consent, just as some boys will do.
I’d die happy being asphyxiated between a pretty girl’s ass or tits. It’s risky but I’d give my consent nevertheless. Stop being sexist by infantilizing girls.
- Duamerthrax@lemmy.worldEnglish8 days
Does the UK government actually differentiate between simulated and actual? Isn’t most porn “fake” anyway and should be presumed to be simulated?
- 8 days
Arguably it is. No one expects to be choked literally to death. Just like any other consent/consent play: you consent to being forced, within boundaries - and you really really need a safe word and/or other safeguards. As the dominant, you are morally responsible for adhering to those boundaries, ensuring the safety of your partner, and fulfilling whatever they expect to get from the play
Knife / edge play is a legitimate kink.
It is possible to consent to being shot, yes. It is still illegal.
just like how it’s possible to consent to taking illegal drugs or breaking the speed limit in a car
