I LOVE these. Funnier the longer I think about them. Almost serious or useful then just completely out of left field.
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- gastroglizzy@piefed.socialEnglish5 days
My favorite is, “Why don’t you make like a tree and go fuck yourself?”
- duckCityComplex@lemmy.worldEnglish5 days
My all time favorite. Sometimes I go with “is a bear Catholic?”
I said this at the root of the thread, but since we are talking about variations of this malaphor, I use:
Does a bear shit in the pope’s hat?
- 5 days
“I don’t know, CJ! I keep telling you I’m not Catholic!”
Women would choose a bear, normally. I thought we went through this a year or so ago.
And a bear in a funny hat?! How could you not want a hug?!
That’s some Groucho Marx style shit.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- 5 days
An old friend always said “time flies like fruit flies like a banana.”
I’ve always preferred this version because of the flow, and because it makes you think a little more before it clicks.
You just made me dylexic I read melons, then when i read dyslexic i go back to read again and i read lemons but wait, wasn’t it melons? So I read again and it’s melons 😭
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Don’t count your chickens before you put them all in one basket
I like how this bucket of chicken is casually thrusting for no reason.
- 5 days
Well duh’… Then someone else has put them in the basket already, so you’re good
- DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish5 days
From the Buffy-verse.
Harmony, the dumbest vampire.
“You’re preaching to the horse’s mouth.”
- DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish4 days
Except that actually makes sense.
On a wooden battleship the cannons were literally tied in place so when the recoiled after being fired they would not smash into the gun crew on the other side of the ship. If a cannon broke its restraints it could maim the crew and break through the hull.
The very next line is “loose cannon, rock the boat – is that a mixed metaphor? Boats did have cannons. And if one got loose, it would cause the boat to rock…”
- 5 days
You opened this can of worms, now lie in it
I resent, and resemble, this
- MangoCats@feddit.itEnglish5 days
“It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.”
“People who live in glass houses can count their chickens in the rain.”
“We’ll cross that water when it’s under the bridge.”
4 days“We’ll cross that water when it’s under the bridge.”
That is by far the laziest take on any variation on that saying I’ve heard so far. 10/10, fuckin’ love it. Just a straight up “we’ll do nothing until the problem comes to us”.
Adding this one to the noggin file.
- MangoCats@feddit.itEnglish4 days
The actual form we use at work is “kick the can down the road” usually to make people feel bad about a lazy decision: “Yeah, you can kick that can down the road now, but it’s not going away until you deal with it.”
One I don’t think I’ve heard yet is “that can of worms is already open, if you kick it dwn the road it will only be a bigger mess later…”
- Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish5 days
“Yesterday we were at the brink of abyss, today we took a step forward”
- 4 days
Bojack Hosreman had a couple of good ones. My favorite was: “Fool me once, shame on you, but teach a man to fool me, and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life!”
