- 4 days
Other than Save Sara Connor, everyone has this wrong.
Faking an identity is easy. Back then it was all paper, and for Americans, SSNs were only just barely standard. Say you grew up in some rural bumblefuck place and sign up for everything fresh. Full Tara Westover story would work.
Next, find your grandparents. Convince them you know them from something through a friend they’ve mentioned to you and crash on their couch long enough to get a basic job, then apartment, car, and grow a moustache. Which should take about 3-4 weeks. Restist your mom’s advances and attempts to take you to a high school dance.
Next, get to the west coast and start selling and buying up real estate. Buy and sell Hollywood back to itself until 1988. Then start buying real estate in New York. On the side, buy stock in all the classic tech companies, Nintendo, and in the military industrial complex. By 1993, you’d be a millionaire. From there, do whatever you want. Buy early and sell AOL stock. Blackberry. GE.
Then do good things in the world. Pull the fire alarms in the WTC at 8:45am on 9/11. Get a certain orange therapy so he stays with Ivanna for the kids. Invent Paypal first and steal the other half of it from Peter Thiel. Convince Woz, Gates, and Jobs that the future is in open source software. Find Linus Torvalds and mail him a billion euros. The morning before the Citizens United decision, bribe Clarence Thomas to abstain and pull the fire alarm. Mail Bernie Sanders $52 every week, anonymously. Get the pilots of Pam Am 103 super hammered the night before so the fight gets cancelled. Organize a London public transit boycott for 7/6/2005 lasting 3 days. Find the people that cancelled Firefly and murder them, wear their faces as a mask, and make sure the series goes at least 5 seasons.
You know, chill stuff like that.
3 daysFull Tara Westover story would work.
Who is Tara Westover? Nevermind, I’ll just Google i- FUCK.
- 3 days
Yeah, wild, isn’t it?
I grew up in a place not too dissimilar from how she grew up, with plenty of fundy LDS nearby. My wife read her book and was telling me about it, and the whole time I was thinking “Oh, good for her. Wait… do I know this person? I don’t know anyone named Tara…” Anyway, the world isn’t as wrote and straightforward as people think.
- 4 days
Find evidence of Trump’s crimes and try to get him convicted, or at least discredited, before people even think about electing him
- 4 days
Great idea until you realize that the architects of project 2025 would have found a replacement that would be smarter and more capable to bring Fascism to America. It would actually make things worse.
smarter and more capable
I don’t think you understand the part he plays. A smarter replacement may not have been so easily manipulated to follow their plans.
- 4 days
They still would need a charismatic leader in a position of power to do anything.
- 5 days
I guess I don’t know the rules around this time traveling adventure, but hopefully you’re in it for the long haul.
I’d buy Microsoft myself. Perhaps sometime around the very late 90’s sell it then buy Apple.
- 5 days
80s? Get as big of a loan as you can from anywhere you can, then buy Hasboro, Nike, Disney, McDonald’s, Walmart. Then sell off Hasboro in the 90s to buy Apple or Cisco, sell McD’s and Nike in the 00s to buy Sandisk or Nvidia, and sell Disney in the 10s to buy Tesla, and enjoy your fuck off money from there out.
Be me
Wake up in 1983
Realize I’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime
Reach into my wallet: Empty
Check my bank account: Empty
Check couch cushions: $1.47
Feel kinda hungry.
Remember what you can buy at Taco Bell for $1.47 in 1983.
Have lunch.
Go get a job at Blockbuster.
Kick back for the next twenty years.
- 4 days
What is my living situation? Do I have money? If I have the resources I’m gonna be planning a roadtrip to remove a bunch of future problems from the timeline.
- 4 days
First I’d bask in all the social and financial safety nets that Reagan and the Bushes hadn’t been able to destroy yet. Watch some pro-union TV ads. Then try to meet Mr Rogers and Ramblin’ Rod.
Then I’d probably try to invent rechargeable lithium tetrahydride batteries a couple years ahead of time, use the money to invest in MS and Oracle, and funnel the profits to Enron and Bernie Madoff before their bottoms drop out. Once I’m too rich to jail, I’d have some other people I’d want to “meet”… while armed.
Do you know how to invent rechargeable lithium tetrahydride batteries right now?
- 4 days
I know the chemistry and I know some of the universities working on it in the 70s and 80s. I don’t know how I’d get in the door with no credentials. I like to think I could talk myself into Oxford… it’s delusional, but I like to think it.
You’ll have to wait for the terminator to move on her before you zero him.
Shift in the womb. Maybe kick a little to let my mom know to eat something for the both of us.
- Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radioEnglish4 days
Might as well talk some shit to the other sperm about what a bunch of slow-ass lames they are.
Assuming I’m transported back as myself at my current age?
Figure out the whole identity issue (no paperwork), but then invest in Apple and Microsoft, wait it out a few years, stop my mom from marrying my dad, and help her figure out her medical troubles early enough to change things.
- 4 days
But what if you stop your mom from marrying your dad and then you just cease to exist because you’ve paradoxed yourself? 🤔🧐
Nah, Mama found out she was pregnant less than hour before walking down the aisle.
She said many times she wished she had not gone through with it once she knew. And while I love my dad, he was not good for her, or her business, or a great dad during his dad-ing years. He’s a lot better now, but all of us, including him, would have been better off if he’d been the guy we saw on weekends, y’know?
- 3 days
What if having never been born they become outside of time and can never die!
