I was kinda late to the game, my guess is that it was just because there was literally no one interesting around me at the time where I could have started to be interested in people. But in 10th grade (age 16-ish?) a lot of new people transferred to my school (normal thing here in Germany, in 10th grade everyone who wants to do their A-level transfers to Grammar School). So there was a new girl who did some awesome work in art class. So I totally wanted to talk to her… sometime down the line. I saw her across the street waiting for a bus about a week later, when a specific girl that was notoriously clingy and annoying started approaching her. Apparently no one had warned the new girl about her. I watched with a mix of horror and jealousy as the annoying girl started talking to her. I don’t think I ever consciously felt jealous before or after that event.

Anyways, we somehow landed in the same friend group and that girl was my first kiss (just in a spin the bottle situation at a party, nothing serious I think) and I seriously considered following her to art school after we graduated. I couldn’t justify that financially though and became a programmer instead. I do sometimes ponder about how different life would have been if I took that path tho. Especially since I am actually really glad to have met my husband in university, and the life that we ended up settling in is the polar opposite of what art school life would have been.

I personally prefer silicone but you do you

Always nice to come across fellow React developers!

I literally can’t figure out why. I have a stable living situation, decent income, a loving long-term partner and no health concerns. I don’t think I remember the last time I genuinely felt happy. There’s short-term excitement or giddyness sometimes, but that lasting, calming presence of actual happiness has been missing for a while.

I let my CPU run without the cooling fans when the demons don’t do my bidding 💕 So that they feel more at home

Fuck that. Emailing coworkers shouldn’t be a formal thing. Just wastes everyone’s time.

I wrote my last email today and it was literally just 3 sentences.

1. Hi, tomorrow is my last day, thanks for the good time.
2. Snacks and champagne in the break room at 1pm.
3. My socials if you wanna keep in touch.

I could have had the company-mandated AI make it “professional” and unnecessarily long but nah, I’d rather be human.