What did you think that you wouldn't struggle with as you get older, but do?

Weight. In my 20s, people said “wait till your 30s” in my 30s they said “wait till your 40s” but it was in my 50s, menopause gave me both hips and torso fat - some hips, some belly, some boobs. 4 kids, 6 years nursing, stayed underweight, but menopause did for me. Now I’m smack in the middle of the healthy range but of course I feel fat because I’m used to being skinny. I don’t overeat, I do work out, none of my lifestyle has really changed. And I don’t want to diet and wreck my bones, and my body feels physically good (which is not a given at this age) so I feel like I ought to be happy, not even struggle with my weight but I do. It’s just a mindfuck to be a medium size when for 50 years I was a tall and skinny person.

Some of the opposite for me.

I thought I would be lonely. I am mostly alone now, but don’t feel lonely.

I expected to have worse back pain, but since my 40’s it’s gotten better, and I almost never have back pain now.

I always used to wonder why most old people get meaner. I don’t wonder that anymore

Family is not everything. Keeping family in your life is choosing family. Life does not guarantee a family worth keeping. It is delusional to believe your family cannot betray you.

Socialising. In a manner it’s got easier, as I’ve got more sure of myself, but I’ve turned into someone who doesn’t really care to socialise most of the time.

Accepting that if you grow up poor in America, you don’t get to easily move out of that bracket. I grew up in poverty. My first job I made as much as the most my dad ever made in his life at $40k/yr. I make $150k/yr today but in a few months I may be homeless or dead by suicide. You will never hear me tell people they can earn their way out of poverty.

Fitness. All my life I’ve been athletic, running competitively when younger, which eventually switched to doing years of gym & becoming very muscular. Unfortunately injury eventually curtailed that so I switched back to running in later years for exercise & enjoyment. I tore the meniscus & the surgeon found other issues.

TLDR I’ve always been a fitness fanatic. My body gave up before I was ready to give up

Figuring out what to do when a friend needs money.

If you asked me when I was younger I think I would have either said I won’t loan friends money at all in order to preserve the friendship, or maybe something more altruistic like that I wouldn’t loan someone money, just give it to them. I had an idealistic view of what my adult friendships would look like where they either don’t end up in bad situations, or if they do it’s because they make bad choices and the consequences are their own.

But as an adult I have had friends who needed money I can’t afford to just give away, but if I don’t help them then they may lose their home. Often the amount they’ve asked for isn’t the end of it, after all if I cover one month of someone’s rent that doesn’t necessarily mean their circumstances have improved over the course of a month.

I’ve had to set boundaries, accept losses and say no to people I care about who need my help much more than I ever thought I would.

Buying food.

Sleep

Why the hell do I sleep for 2 to 3 hours wake up then struggle to go back to sleep. It started when I hit 50 (56 now) and I’m lucky to get 4 hours of sleep on any given night. Once in a great while I’ll get 6 and once 7.5 hours (that felt great).

The funny thing is I have no problem falling asleep when I go to bed. It’s only when I wake up in the middle of the night that the problem starts.

It’s driving me nuts.

Yes, I’m doing my research and did learn that older adults have issues with sleep. Which really does not seem fair. I’m actually jealous of how my teenage boys sleep.

Maintaining relationships with distant (geographic) friends. Everyone moves around going about their life, you slowly lose contact. Not intentional, “I’ll text later” and so on and next thing you know it’s been months or years.

The biggest barrier to my love for gaming is actually that I’ve drifted away from my friends.

Ideological and locational differences have isolated me from the few people I did play with and now it feels hollow to spin up a Minecraft world because what I do alone will never be as fulfilling as building megastructures as a community. The world of Valheim loses it’s glow when you’re alone in a boat made for 6. The tedious grind of Warframe is a soul crushing slog without the banter of a dedicated fire team. Even games played alone are bitter sweet. I finally have the ability to pay through every Pokemon game legitimately and have no one to trade Pokemon with. Even my character gets a recurring rival to test his growth.

Weight. I remember very well seeing an overweight man when I was a teenager. He had his shirt tucked in and it was very obvious that his belly flopped over his waist, and I thought, “How could someone let themselves reach that point? Surely they’d notice they’re getting heavier and do something about it!”

Now I’m the fat man.

I assumed most things would get more difficult as I age. Turns out I was correct.

The only thing that is easier is building something from a box of scraps. It’s harder to see and my hands aren’t quite as nimble but I have a boat-load of experience.

Tolerating people.