• DonkeyStar@lemmy.world
    7 minutes

    Gun sticks on thumb, potentially leaving a festive corpse.

    Or, more fun, balloons hit basement ceiling, mystery solved.

  • 「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」@piefed.caEnglish
    5 hours

    Anon: “Haha I bet they cant solve this case!”

    Detective after investigating for 5 minutes: “Alright pack it up, boys. Natural Causes. He had a pre-existing condition of lead poisoning. Anyways, anyone wanna go get a donut with me?”

  • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
    11 hours

    Do not do this. Helium is a scarce resource and those balloons create pollution and kill animals when they come down.

  • Rivalarrival@lemmy.todayEnglish
    11 hours

    The gun is going to come down somewhere. Gravity is a bitch like that. So, coastline, and make sure the winds are out to sea. Not just the surface winds, but also the winds aloft. When the gun does eventually come down, it is still going to be connected to the balloons, and will be floating at the surface for days. A balloon mass this large could attract attention. You’ll want some kind of water soluble string to drop the gun and ensure it sinks.

    As it ascends, the balloon cluster is going to show up on doorbell cameras. The noise of the gunshot is going to draw witnesses with phone cameras. At the very least, you need a moonless night. Fog bank and low ceilings can help. Definitely don’t want to try this during the day.

    • FatVegan@leminal.space
      2 hours

      Some guy at a lake bear me once killed himself. He had a cgest wound but they found no gun. Suicide wasn’t really on the table because it’s weird to shoot youself in tge chest, and then where is the gun? Did he throw it in the lake with hia last breath? Non of it made sense, the bullet hole was weird, they found gunpowder residu that wasn’t common from gunfire. At his home they found a sort of contraption that no one cared about, because it seemed unrelated. But then they found a similar one next to the body and it was a string and some branch and a little rock or whatever he used. He was swinging that rock around to hit the bullet at the right location to fire it. They suspected it took him hours. Later they found out that people saw him for weeks, sitting there playimg with some rock branch toy or whatever.

      What an absolute insane way to die.

    • slaacaa@lemmy.world
      4 hours

      Thinking about it, you could really fuck with local authorities.

      Drench yourself in the water at the shore, wear clothes with tags torn out, and have a notebook in your pocket with pages after pages of random numbers. Police and intelligence agency staff will work all-nighters to figure out who was the spy they found and who shot them.

  • Apeman42@lemmy.worldEnglish
    13 hours

    >buy Helium

    >around 10,000 balloon

    >gun

    >attach balloons filled with helium to self

    >shoot yourself

    >let the corpse fly away

    >no one will ever know

    Thank me later

  • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
    11 hours

    Unless you pay cash for the balloons and somehow get helium from somewhere without a bottle deposit there will be a paper trail for the setup.

  • Emi@ani.socialEnglish
    11 hours

    I think they can tell it was self inflicted gunshot but yeah, the missing gun will be a mystery.

          • Kalothar@lemmy.ca
            2 hours

            Setup a mechanism to double tap you from 10 feet away and the thing floats off and then have that detonate after floating off for awhile.

    • SpaghettiMaster@feddit.uk
      7 hours

      What if you don’t hold it normally? Use a type of ammo from a weapon normally too long for suicide and connect something to the trigger so you can reach it, or wrap the balloons string around it.

      If you watch enough true crime you can probably work out how to make your suicide look like a murder, or at the very least leave them confused for a while.

    • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
      8 hours

      Ghouls. Missing items at crime or accident scenes happens. People come across the scene and help themselves.

  • nomad@infosec.pub
    12 hours

    There is an episode in the show Elementary that tells a similar story. Person shoots self on bridge, gun connected to weight and wire and falls into river. Mystery “created”.

    • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
      2 hours

      At first in my head, I mixed up the show Elementary with the show Recess, and was surprised. I don’t remember that show being so dark…

  • ladicius@lemmy.world
    12 hours

    When the gun is coming down and found and being handed over to police they may find out that the ballistic signature of gun and bullet match.

    Thank them later.

    • clif@lemmy.world
      49 minutes

      Who’s turning in a free gun delivered from the sky by the gods?

      If we’re going by Arthurian rules, that’d probably make you king of Florida (or whatever your local equivalent of Florida is).

    • nomad@infosec.pub
      12 hours

      Apparently matching guns to bullets is mostly pseudoscience. They can match caliber and firearm type quite reliably but that’s about it.

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        11 hours

        The big problem is that bullets are soft. When they hit anything solid (like bone) they deform. Bullet matching is fine when the bullet is undamaged, but that generally isn’t the case, unless it missed and hit something soft and non-ablatative.

        Trying to match damaged bullets is very unreliable.

          • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
            9 hours

            Apparently CSI had lawyers on both sides cursing it 20+ years ago (when I did a uni module on forensics). Juries expected concise, absolute results. Instead they get probabilities, maybes, and shades of grey.

            I dread to think what it is like now.