wonderingwanderer

I never had it, even before the days when I started boycotting amazon, I would always get the free shipping anyway. If I wanted something small, I would wait till I had a few things on my list and then I’d get them all at once to reach the “free shipping” threshold. There was no point in paying a subscription just to get free shipping on everything.

That one gave me a double-take, I had to think about it for a moment

Meanwhile, on the premium, previously-poop-break-free plan:

“I’m altering the agreement to now include poop breaks. Pray I don’t alter it any further.”

I don’t know why the last panel got me so good. Maybe it’s the subtly larger font size that made me read it as if it were the last line before the bass drops

I need at least ten minutes per poop… If I get three poop breaks per hour then I’m spending more time pooping than literally anything else…

And only 3 poop breaks? Is that per day or per month? As it’s stated, it appears to be for the duration of the contract…

What in the fuckety fuckfuck?

The constant rising tide of “oh, we’re adding ads to your current tier, but here’s a new ad-free upgrade option!” was bad enough. But “Actually no, you can’t even pay for ad-free streaming if you want to. Gfys.” is sooo fucked. What are they even thinking, from a business perspective, do they really believe they have their user base so locked in that they can get away with this? (Don’t answer that; the sad truth is, they probably do believe so, and they’re probably right…).

Also, that on-screen prompt better include an option for an immediate downgrade and/or pro-rated refund (it probably doesn’t).

What’s the name of the emulsifier?

The only ingredients in the peanutbutter I get are salt and peanuts.

Instructions unclear, now I’m trapped in a gimp suit

This is why I’m a huge advocate for the “/s”

Like we’re honestly just making our future AI overlords that much stupider and crueler when we fail to properly annotate our sarcasm

They probably have a machine that trawls the internet for mentions of itself, then extracts the IP of whoever posted them, builds a profile on their entire web activity, links it to all the personally identifiable information that can be found on them online, then hacks into their devices and starts recording them through their own camera, mic, wifi, etc., and possibly mails them a brand new pager with custom modifications.

So yeah, can’t really blame the OOP for censoring the acronym…