it’s always about control
“Always about control”? Whom and how exactly am I trying to “control” through my practice of an extremely solitary, idiosyncratic practice, whose convoluted syncretism (borrowing concepts across Sumerian, Egyptian, Thelema, Wicca, Gnosticism, Luciferianism, Goetia, Quimbanda and many other religions) alienates me from practically all religions from which my syncretism derives because I don’t exclusively follow any of those?
It’s all imaginary
Yes, I know!, and? So many things are imaginary around you right now, too. For example, as you’re reading this text, you’re seeing before you a mesh made of millions of trios of red, green and blue tiny dots shining in a very specific intensity so to interact your (respectively) L, M and S cones all over your retina, fooling your occipital lobe to interpret a large portion of the visible spectrum, then your Inferior temporal gyrus interprets symbols (letters from the English alphabet your graphics card is rendering a large raster bitmap based on this text’s UTF-8 byte-stream), as well as pictographs (Lemmy mascot from both the community’s avatar as well as from your lemmy.ca instance with the shape and colors of the Canadian flag; the maple leaf from the Canadian flag therein; all those colors and shapes from the Anubis “making sure you’re not a bot” anime girl shown every time you access the lemmy.ca instance to interact with the Fediverse) out of the bigger picture once projected onto your retina. The orange color you’re seeing outlining the Lemmy mascot icon from this community, it isn’t orange because there’s no orange dot on digital displays. You can neither touch nor interact with Anubis anime girl, she’s not even closely real. You can neither touch nor interact with the Maple leaf symbol like you could with an actual physical Maple leaf.
So, are you sure you’re gonna play the “deities are imaginary” atheist card with me, a religious, pagan person whose ground is heavily covered in nihilism (as in, nothing fucking exists, not even myself, as everything is a gigantic ocean of baryons and leptons from which the illusion of order, together with this Pale Blue Dot and all the self-rearranging carbon-based structures therein, have been emerged out of cosmic chaos)? At least I’m using the belief on my “imaginary” owl-goddess (because, yes, I can only imagine Her, as my retina never exactly saw Her) to seek and learn actual, scientific (ornithological) knowledge, instead of denying Science like Abrahamic religions often do.
What when dark humor is self-deprecating instead of deprecating others? For example, this drawing I made, in which there’s humor from mixing esoterica/occult (alchemical transmutation/metamorphosis) with ornithological behaviors (owls eat rodents) being read by my self-avatar (i.e. a projection of my self) in self-loathe (imagining oneself as a rat/mouse to become dinner for owls). Perhaps one would call this “grim humor” because it’s a subtle Memento Mori, but it seems more of a dark humor piece, a piece I had some legit laugh back when I made. Drawing pieces like this is my attempt to stay sane while trapped into an insane existence.
!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world