I’m having difficulty finding permission to sleep and a consensual way to gain access to requisites like food & clothes. I’m used to things like violence & gaslighting, and think it’s generally risky for me to be around other people, or for people to speak to me. I’m unable to find a way to spend time that’s tolerated/allowed and am sorry for bothering others.

People close to me say the n-word as a racial slur, and this has been happening often recently. It’s been directed toward me also. I don’t support this use of the n-word; I completely avoid saying myself.