Then he died in a place I couldn’t take him for sausageification. I hope he lived and grew into the king of the forest, telling other animals of the dangers of roads.

Or like my buddy’s ex, she was driving and one of them motherfuckers just jumped into her driver’s side window. She was in the hospital for days, the deer limped off into the woods, and we were cleaning glass and deer blood out of her vehicle for a while.