There ain’t enough of him to go around. Willing to negotiate sending a musk, hegseth, or thiel though.

You should re-evaluate your crisis planning. Communication is a key safety item, even if it is one-way. I’ve got a pair of GMRS walkie-talkies that can pretty reliably broadcast a little over a mile. Put them in scan mode and you can pickup chatter from other sources. This has fuck all to do with an AM radio, but they also have the ability to pick up the automated weather reports from the airport. So when it looks real stormy out, I turn one on (to test it) and to get continuous updates directly from the weather station instead of waiting for the news to catch up. Communication in a crisis, even if it’s just one way, is still a critical lifeline.