• You need something you can walk to, like Another One Bites The Dust, Stayin’ Alive, anything by ZZ Top, that sort of thing

  • There’s so much “teachers pet” ink just dripping off this paper, I can smell it through my phone

  • So, Vampires… (related to op, I swear)

    If holy water works against vampires, why not purify a humidifier?

    Better yet, know why you don’t see any vampires in Africa? Because Toto already blessed the rains down in Africa.

    • Better yet, know why you don’t see any vampires in Africa?

      Thievery Corporation begs to differ: Vampires

  • My class voted Free Bird by Lynard Skynyrd. A song about a man leaving a woman because he doesn’t want to settle down. Class of 2010 morons.

  • As a non-American, I was very confused for a bit. Why are senior citizens needing to pick songs? What are they graduating from?

  • We were allowed to build small groups of 2-3 people and choose our own song. We went with “Another brick in the wall”

    • My school banned that song from ceremonies after every class chose it for like 5 years straight.

      • This gives me Director Skinner vibes :D
        “Are our students unhappy? Are we out of touch? No! It’s the kids that are wrong!”

        • lol yeah there was some of that happening. Although to be fair, we were a bunch of idiots… we chose the same song as the previous year (bohemian rhapsody). Talk about apathetic

    • My class wanted to walk out to “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve.

      The first couple of lines go, “It’s a bitter sweet symphony, this life. Tryin’ to make ends meet, you’re a slave to money, and then you die.”

      The school did not go for that.

      • “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”

        Sounds upbeat enough, about nuclear apocalypse.

    • A radio station where I grew up (Cleveland) switched formats to alternative/grunge/whatever in 1990 or 1991 and they kicked this off by playing that song over and over for three straight days. It was a surreal experience to hear it on the radio every time I went to drive anywhere. For me, this was the real moment the '90s began (the other contenders being the premiers on MTV of “Groove is in the Heart” and “Smells Like Teen Spirit”).

      Apparently many stations all over the country switched formats the same way, by playing “End of the World as We Know It” over and over again.

      • That was 100.7 WMMS when they got bought by clear channel! That is a reference I never thought I’d see in the wild.

        • No, it wasn’t WMMS (unless my memory is even worse than I thought). It was a different station although I don’t remember which one. They called themselves “the End” (hence the song), maybe WEND? I dunno. They had that one DJ who had relocated from LA for the gig.

          I stopped listening after that one Barenaked Ladies song started getting played once an hour. “It’s been” had me changing the channel so fucking fast it even happened when it was used in their promos. Good god do I hate that fucking song.

          • Oh my gosh you’re right! Just got done finding the wiki on them as well. I forgot that was when they switched formats.

  • Happy is a song devoid of soul. I saw someone bring up that if he released this song today, he would probably be mobbed.

    Too bad Pharrell went this route. I really enjoyed him in N.E.R.D.

    • I learned from Lemmy a while ago that Pharell wrote “Happy” as a bit of a sarcastic jab, so I think it’s intended to be devoid of soul. Don’t get me wrong, I hate the song. But I enjoy that little tidbit

      • That adds a layer of irony to the AI generated corporate koolaid version I was subjected to at work.

    • Funny enough N.E.R.D. also has a song called “Happy” but it’s definitely a different vibe than his more famous song of the same name. This one’s happy because an ex-lover is finally out of the singer’s life and their life is now so much better for it.

      • I tend not to listen to a lot of collab stuff or singles. An artists albums are typically what I pay attention to. Not much of his solo style really kept me interested.

  • There’s something deeply unsettling to know that there’s someone out there who genuinely thinks Happy is better than Africa

    I actually can’t think of a worse choice, maybe wheels on the bus or some other nursery rhyme? Even that would at least feel subversive

  • I like the implication that Toto Africa has no rhythm whatsoever lmao

      • Possibly apocryphal anecdote, but Pharrell may have created happy to be the most soulless, unimaginative song to be like this is the garbage you producers want, and the producers loved it. Cannot stand that fucking song. Sounds like something Bruno mars would write on purpose

        • “It was only until you were out of ideas and you asked yourself a rhetorical question and you came back with a sarcastic answer. And that’s what ‘Happy’ was,” Williams said. “How do you make a song about a person that’s so happy that nothing can bring them down? And I sarcastically answered it and put music to it, and that sarcasm became the song. And that broke me.”

          Pharrell in an interview. So you’re right pretty much. It was created for Despicable Me 2 so the movie folks had veto rights and he couldn’t make something he actually would’ve wanted to make

  • I was so medicated that I don’t remember what I “walked out on…” I guess it was Pomp & Circumstance or something, right?

  • We walked out to Highway To Hell because someone’s older brother blasted it from their stereo in the parking lot.

  • For my senior class I floated the idea of ‘Fight for your right to party’ by the Beastie Boys, and it took off. Won in a landslide when we voted.

    Then the school leaders basically ignored us and chose some lame van Halen song, even though no one wanted it, and no one in the class listened to van Halen because they were fucking ass-rock has beens

    • What? You’re telling me you don’t want to receive your diploma to a song that ends with the band members catcalling random girls?

    • If the school picked Hot for Teacher to play on behalf of the students that would be… Something.