- 11 hours
🔥 0% interest. Bad credit? No problem. PSIB loans up to $5M — 24-hr approval.
- getz@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish6 days
Seeking out a beautiful women to make love with can be challenge. The odds are good but the goods are odd in many cases.
Words of wisdom worth taking note of and incorporating into our daily lives.
MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It’s got to be hot. You’ve got to take your time. You’ve got to stir… gently and firmly. You’ve got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
LAYING A CARPET Laying a carpet is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you’re adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.
HANGING WALLPAPER Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
PUTTING UP A TENT Putting up a tent, is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an’… slip in to the old bag.
WASHING A CAR Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You’ve got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you’ve got a nice wet sponge.
ANSWERING THE PHONE Answering the phone, is… a little like making love to a beautiful woman. In that you’ve gotta… lift the receiver, put it to your ear, speak …loudly and clearly … oh, yes - and don’t forget to state your name.
BEING IN THERAPY And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You … get on the couch, string ’em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
BEING IN A CRASH Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is … very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it’s a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
GOING FISHING Of course, As you know, I’m a very keen fisherman myself. You know, I’ve often thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod over, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you’ve got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there’s plenty of shot in your bag.
@pmjv i love girls! cleaning the needle, aligning the cartridge, using my ears or mr mobilek to know if they still run at the right speed…
no wait that is the tesla nc 470 hifi turntable
@pmjv i forgot “filling them with plastelina for anti-vibration purposes” and i hate myself for it
@pmjv (you may ask, “does that even do anything?” maybe in some scenarios, but when it’s on a kallax and old floorboards, it definitely does not help. just to baffle anyone who may work on it after i’m gone.)
- ferret@sh.itjust.worksEnglish6 days
All this talk of girls is such a bore, please bring back the grill discourse.
- 6 days
Same holds true for Furryosa. Except instead of cheese it’s jalapeños. She loves those things.
- 6 days
I know a ton of online guys as foolish as me and only a few that impress me with their wisdom.
- 6 days
Ethan Klein cheated, that was the last seal of the apocalypse, everything is allowed now!
