2meirl4meirl

Currently stuck in a similar cycle… my analysis (of my own situation, but maybe you can get something from it): why I’m doing or not is besides the point - the real problem is depression - the inability to simply get up and do something.

Having outside forces (job etc.) do that for me can be a blessing. Which can quickly turn into a curse. But I am extremely bad at self-motivating, as far as simple physical activity (going out) is concerned.

In both cases you are lying to yourself, using your emotional reaction to distract yourself from dealing with reality.