Ok, there are some big red flags in your question, but I’ll address the question first and the red flags after.
People should be free to choose whichever labels make them most comfortable and happy. There is no benefit to trying to police how people label themselves. And an ‘ally’ should definitely not be trying to give opinions on what is and is not the correct label.
Now to the red flags. I am going to extend you the benefit of the doubt, but these are things you should be aware of. You seem to have an issue with trans exclusionary language. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Trying to create labels that are specifically exclusionary of trans people is harmful. I’m not trying to control who you find attractive, but making them some nebulous other is harmful.
Referring to people you claim are your friends as male and female is weird, and is going to get the hackles up on a lot of folks because that is the language frequently used by bigots.
Claiming some access to a community because you have a friend or friends in that community is a tired trope (e.g., my best friend is black). It doesn’t add anything to the conversation, and generally doesn’t make people trust you more.
Finally, your feelings on queer people’s labels is irrelevant. People have enough to deal with without their ‘ally’ questioning their labels. It doesn’t matter how specific or vague a label is, you will still need to communicate with any possible sexual or romantic partners. So that solves any issue of vague labels.
I think IVPN is better