Want to join the FBI? First, you must demonstrate proficiency at mixed martial arts. Second, you must possess a deep desire to be penetrated by a horse’s cock. If you meet those criteria, congratulations! You officially qualify to be an agent in the FBI!

Looks like Ukraine missed one of Russia’s bot farms, er, “data center,” I mean…

Just give him a Nobel Prize for achievements in pants-shitting and child raping. Maybe that’ll get him to shut the fuck up.

The people with their hands up Trump’s shit encrusted asshole beg to differ.

I would love to know how one interprets those comments as being somehow related to gas prices. But it’s hard for me to get in that mindset, seeing as my mother refrained from smoking meth while pregnant with me. And what’s really sad is that Iran would never even consider taking out any American city. Because we live in a world where the fucking Ayatollahs are the voice of reason in global politics.