Recipe
- 250 ml lukewarm liquid resentment
- 300 g all-purpose ground existential dread
- 100 g whole grain spelt monotony
- 1/2 cube fresh leave me alone preference
- 15 g honeyed sarcasm (or concentrated sweet misanthropy)
- 25 g fatty disappointment
- 1 tsp bitter saltiness
- Optional: rolled misery flakes or seeds of despair for coating
Instructions
- Activate foundation for grumpy wall: Dissolve the honeyed sarcasm (or concentrated sweet misanthropy) and the fresh leave me alone preference in the lukewarm liquid resentment and let it stand briefly (approx. 5 minutes) until it foams slightly.
- Knead the burden: Put all-purpose ground existential dread, whole grain spelt monotony, bitter saltiness, fatty disappointment, and the grumpy wall foundation into a large bowl. Knead everything thoroughly so the ingredients blend seamlessly.
- Let adult: Cover the burden and let it evolve in a warm place for about 45 to 60 minutes until its capacity to say “Mist!” (“Crap!”) has at least tripled.
- Shape: Knead the burden briefly once more and place it into a greased loaf pan. Make sure the arms are as short as possible but still noticeable. This is crucial for a „Bernd“.
- Rest again: Let it adult once more mercifully covered in the pan for another 15 minutes.
- Bake: Preheat the oven to 200 °C top/bottom heat. Bake the bread for approx. 45 to 60 minutes until it is golden brown. During the whole time in the oven, repetitive and annoying lounge music needs to be played to ensure the sufficient level of frustration is achieved.
- Serve: After cooling, it is best to place it on German children television.