1 hourI don’t have enough disposable income to be a ‘regular’ anywhere but my kitchen.
- StabbingSky@lemmy.zipEnglish6 hours
This definitely pays off if you tip well at a bar you’re a regular at.
At our local Mexican place they would spike our margaritas so much that occasionally they’d be almost undrinkable. I’m pretty sure they were tossing a shot of everclear in it.
But it was great, before our server even made it to our table, they’d bring us our drinks and queso dip.
- jaybone@lemmy.zipEnglish10 hours
Are people afraid to be regular customers? Do they go out of their way to shop at different places all the time?
If you’re outwardly likable, relatable and able to be all chatty smiles and eye contact with everyone you meet, people are going to be much nicer to you because they’ve assumed much nicer things about you.
Due to this, you probably only have pleasant connotations with frequenting places where you are noticed by for your habits by strangers.
Shopping online is much less stressful imo. And if I want a fresh cheesecake, I make it myself.
- 8 hours
Sure, but unless you’re actively unpleasant as a customer then becoming a recognised regular shouldn’t be any worse than a neutral thing
And how long before it’s decided that I’m being rude for not making eye contact or replying to a question wrong, and then my appearence/behaviour starts being scrutinised whenever they see me?
All my little otherwise mostly unoffensive differences then start piling up and adding to any negative feelings these people have about me, and then one day it’s decided that I’m just ‘too spacy’ so I must be ‘on drugs’ or my flinching at loud noises means I’m ‘proper crazy’.
Then if I keep going to this shop and I ignore the random smirking/whispering from behind the counter and/or the security guard following half a step behind me, and I write off any hostile or weird behaviour towards me as these people obviously just having a bad day as surely it can’t be my fault, I don’t even recognise them etc, … you can guess how charming people start being then, I’m sure.
- 5 hours
I’m gonna be honest, in every customer service job I’ve worked I would not have given any of that a second thought. Working in a supermarket / bar / cafe etc means you see some actual arseholes easily often enough that “acting a bit odd” or “dressed unusually” doesn’t even register. You have my sympathy for any unpleasant experiences like that that you’ve had, because obviously just as much as customers can be arseholes so can employees, but most people on both sides of that just want to go about their day
- Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish5 hours
You’re in your head. No one cares this much.
There’s a meme for long ago with two women giggling and pointing. The anxiety riddled person thinks they are being laughted at. The confident person sees their behavior as flirting.
- proudblond@lemmy.worldEnglish7 hours
I’m pretty good at being as you described and I still prefer online shopping whenever possible. Ah, the joys of introversion! People are often surprised when I describe myself as an introvert, and my response is that I fake extroversion well.
- jaybone@lemmy.zipEnglish8 hours
That’s some serious level of antisocial if you have to make things yourself rather than go out and buy them.
- Bluewing@lemmy.worldEnglish9 hours
I have a number of stores I shop at regularly and I am on a first name basis with the owners. But, the nearest places that have other stores are 50+ miles away. A hazard of living in the middle of nowhere I suppose.
What if they try to go past NPC speak and I have to talk about my cringe ass hobbies, then they find out I’m a weird loser?
- sit@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish8 hours
You don’t have to.
You have 💫self control✨like literally control over what you want to talk about.
I wish I had that self-control all the time! Sometimes my autistic mind can only answer to what is asked, and with strangers I cannot often even change the subject. My head just goes blank, and I exist as something else than myself. My thoughts are the words that come out of my mouth, and I know what they are only, as I say them. It is wild, and kind of scary.
- 3 hours
At the end of the day if you do genuinely come across as a loser… well all that has happened is a stranger thought you were kind of a loser. That doesn’t actually matter much at the end of the day. We’re all kinda awkward sometimes; some of us much more often than others, and sometimes it’s because of autism or similar, but in a random small talk interaction you can at least take comfort in that you’ve not hurt anyone or damaged anything, you just had a somewhat bad short conversation
I neither go out nor interact with people enough to ever become a regular.
pol = pea-pol?
If that’s a common abbr. resp. bastrdzn. I never saw it before… all it reminds me of is {N}chan.
- Cursed_Fig@lemmy.worldEnglish15 hours
Who is afraid to be a regular customer? Weird intro to the story.
- shinzabir@fedinsfw.appEnglish4 hours
I got a free pizza at a pizza place before because the owner recognized me as the person putting in a large order for a past event I helped organize. That was the last time I went there. The “I don’t want them thinking I’m here hoping for another free pizza”-anxiety just hit me super hard. That was about 15 years ago and I have long since moved away from that town, but I still think about it occasionally. They made good pizza…
- snoons@lemmy.caEnglish12 hours
Working at Starbucks you are ENCOURAGED to make CUSTOMER CONNECTIONS; so, sometimes I would compliment this persons car, or that persons hair. Never seen them again, even though they would come somewhat regularly before that lol.
- jaybone@lemmy.zipEnglish10 hours
compliment this persons car
“I really like your license plate number”
Avoids stalker in future
- Varesti@lemmy.zipEnglish15 hours
Well, at the height of my alcoholism I would go to different stores every day on a rotation to avoid becoming a regular.
You became a regular in all those stores. Just a different regulatory.
I hopping between supermarket and gas station…
Edit: and still I’m a regular at every shop and bar on my first visit
- Telodzrum@lemmy.worldEnglish9 hours
We just had a huge thread yesterday where like 90% of the comments were people outright paralyzed by the fear of interacting with a cashier at the grocery store.
The users on here are eggshell fragile. It’s honestly shocking how unable they are to even meet the bare minimum for existing in a society.
- Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish5 hours
Yeah. These people are all describing various forms of social anxiety. Allowing anxiety to control oneself is an avoidant behavior response.
This is should not be confused with being introverted.
- ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.netEnglish14 hours
Well, not afraid but I definitely dislike the notion of some stranger knowing my habits. I can go to the same place regularly but I will switch what I’m ordering all the time so they can’t figure out my next move. I guess I was an emperor in my previous life or something.
- Siethron@lemmy.worldEnglish4 hours
There was a Hardee’s (aka Carl Jrs) near my work that knew me as “5 piece” one time the cook saw me pulling up and had my order out before I even ordered it. It made me question my life choices, I determined they were the correct ones.
- ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.netEnglish3 hours
I know a lot of people like to be able say “the usual”. I never liked that. No real reason, just always felt like it’s something I should avoid. A therapist would probably tell my why if I had one.
“hey, it’s the weird guy who thinks he’s throwing us off by ordering something different every time”
Why stop there? Go in a variety of disguises including fake facial hair.
- ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.netEnglish12 hours
Yes! And change accents or use different language. “What do you mean yesterday I spoke Spanish? I don’t speak Spanish!”. Good idea.
- jaybone@lemmy.zipEnglish10 hours
Hell, why not real facial hair? Adopt a whole new identity. Adopt children. Get some tattoos.
Nope, I do not want to be recognised. The notion of being remembered and/or having random people think of me like that, is fucking horrifying. Attracting any attention of this sort makes me feel me unsafe and I will go out of my way to avoid it as I do not want my purchases tampered with or to be harrassed.
Being a disabled but somewhat attractive ‘woman’ makes people think they can get away with all sorts of shitty behaviour towards me and to keep putting myself in situations where they can, is stupid and basically just asking to be fucked with.
- hitmyspot@aussie.zoneEnglish13 hours
Alternative view. Being a regular customer means your are treated like a person rather than a customer. This means watching out for your safety around other members of the public. Or giving you warnings about unsafe events or people nearby.
Community keeps us safe. Being a regular can be like being a part of your community depending on the type of establishment.
I’m glad this has been your experience and that you have a safe community.
Me, walking into the store wearing just a jockstrap and nipple clamps: “I know, right?”
- OwOarchist@pawb.socialEnglish13 hours
Being a regular cheesecake customer of your local bakery has some pretty dire health implications in the long term…
- Damarus@feddit.orgEnglish14 hours
That’s part of the joke, it sets you up with the wrong expectations
- Damarus@feddit.orgEnglish11 hours
This is not a debate. What is going on in the comments of this post, can you not spot a joke?
